Life is full of unexpected bumps, twists, and turns — it can beat us up, rips us apart and turn our whole world upside down.
And for me, that moment happened two years ago.
It was by far the most painful, heartbreaking and challenging season that I ever had to face.
I was in a very dark place. I was going through so much pain, grieving a loss of a loved one and not to mention the financial struggles that I had to go through every single day.
Everything just felt so overwhelming and every day I felt like I was being suffocated — like I was just constantly gasping for air, desperate to find a way out.
I just want to be happy – I kept telling myself this over and over again.
I can’t tell you how many times I woke up feeling terrified — terrified to face all the struggles, the pain, and darkness.
We all go through seasons like these. Moments that beat us up, constantly makes us feel defeated and test every ounce of strength in us.
We hope and wish that there’s a fast forward button somewhere that we can easily press to skip all the pain and heartache.
But sadly, life doesn’t work that way. The only way out, the only way for us to heal and move forward is to go through it and to keep reminding ourselves that tough times never last and you can definitely change your life.
Here are 5 Things to do When you’re going Through Tough Times.
Navigating through the darkest and most difficult days of my life was not easy but these steps helped me push through those dark days and continue fighting — I’m hoping it will do the same for you!
Take responsibility and don’t be afraid to take action…
I had a lot of regrets and I’ve made a lot of mistakes in an attempt of changing my life.
I took a lot of wrong turns but instead of owning up to those mistakes I chose to run away from it and blamed everyone and everything around me.
I blamed the people who caused me so much pain growing up for being trapped in depression.
And what did that get me? Nothing.
Doing this did not help me heal and move on. It didn’t help improve and better my situation, instead, it kept me stuck and trapped.
Because the reality is, it will never be possible for you to change your situation, to let go of negativity, to heal and grow if you don’t take full responsibility for your actions— if you don’t take full responsibility for your life.
The moment that you’ll stop blaming others and everything around you for what you’re going through, the happier you’ll be.
It took me long enough to finally realized that if I wanted to change my life, if I wanted to overcome these struggles, I needed to take control.
I needed to stop blaming everyone, take full responsibility for my choices and take action.
Acknowledge what you’re feeling and let yourself feel…
For every pain, loss, heartbreak, and struggle, I always choose to run away from it.
Instead of acknowledging and facing what I was going through and what I was feeling, I chose to hide them, kept all of them bottled up and I kept pretending to be happy, thinking that eventually, they will all just go away.
I pretended to be okay and I kept believing that I was happy but I wasn’t. I was far from being happy, inside I was struggling.
Those feelings that I refused to face, those emotions that I chose to keep bottled up, they slowly consumed me until they finally broke me.
If you’re like me, please know that what you’re feeling right now is completely valid. Facing the pain and allowing yourself to feel does not make you weak.
Numbing ourselves from the pain and heartbreak is nothing but a temporary solution.
Soon enough we will realize that by masking the pain, we are also keeping ourselves from moving on and from healing.
Acknowledge the struggles that you’re going through. Allow yourself to feel.
Remind yourself that the only way to move forward, grow, heal and the only way out is through.
Take it one day at a time…
There were a lot of days where I would wake up feeling terrified and overwhelmed by all the problems and struggles that was hitting me.
Not only was I constantly battling my own inner demons, but I was also struggling financially.
I had people counting on me and I just didn’t know what to do. I tried to handle everything all at once while also constantly worrying if there will be more problems tomorrow.
And doing this just broke me. It paralyzed me because I was just too overwhelmed about everything.
So, instead of actually doing something, most days, I couldn’t even get out of bed. I couldn’t even think straight.
If you’re like me, please know that it’s okay to not have the answer to everything. It’s okay to not have everything figured out.
You don’t have to tackle all the problems at once. Take it one day at a time and live in the present moment.
The best thing to do is to focus on the things that you can change and improve today and let tomorrow worry for itself.
There is always something to be grateful for…
Easier said than done, right? I know. I’ve been there.
After falling into depression, losing a loved one, being unemployed and constantly worrying and scrambling to provide even for the basic necessities, believing that there was something that I should be grateful for was just impossible.
When we are going through so much pain, difficulties, and struggles, it’s so easy to look past at all the good things that we still have and just focus on the problems and on the things that we lack.
But doing that will get us nowhere. Doing that did not fix my problems, it didn’t heal the pain that I was feeling nor did it make me feel better.
It only trapped me in so much negativity and pain.
I’ve learned that it’s so much better to focus on the things and the people that I still have, instead of complaining of all the things I lack.
You see, when you focus on all the negativity, the problems, the losses, the things you lack, you start to forget about the good things that you still have and the good things that can still be.
Related: 5 Things I Do to Overcome Depression
Going through the toughest and most painful days of my life was overbearing.
I can’t tell you how many nights I cried myself to sleep, how many nights I thought about giving up.
But one of the greatest reasons why I’m still here, why I continued to hold on and fight was faith.
Whether you believe in God or in anyone else or it could even be as simple as having faith that everything will eventually fall into place, hold on to it.
Trusting your faith can be your greatest source of strength while you are navigating through the most difficult days of your life.
For me, my faith in God is what keeps me going on days when everything is just falling apart(I’m not pushing my religion to you or anything)
But it’s true, my faith in God is my greatest source of strength.
When you are navigating through the most painful and the most difficult season of your life, it may feel as if no matter what you do and how hard you try to push yourself, going through it is just not possible.
I know how this feel. When you just feel so exhausted, hopeless, and so defeated but I want you to know that you are so much stronger and braver than you think.
Remind yourself that it is in pain, losses, heartbreak, and struggles you develop invaluable strength and courage to help you become the best possible version of yourself.
So, keep fighting. Take it one day at a time. Keep moving forward and you will make it!
I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional to get the help you deserve.