Clinging on to a negative thought, holding on to negativity is like poison — it slowly kills you from the inside.
This was the case for me. You see, as a child, I was constantly being compared by the people that I love.
For every mistake, every bad behavior I was made to believe that I was not good enough.
I look up to these people and I love them dearly, but I’ de be lying if I said that their words didn’t hurt me.
Because it did. It was a heart-wrenching pain that made me cry myself to bed. It made me asked myself more than a dozen times: why can’t I be good enough.
I let this emotional pain build up and take over.
I let this emotional poison mold me into a people pleaser. I allowed myself to live a life that would make other people happy, that would make them proud, instead of actually living a life that would make me happy.
I constantly chased other people’s validation, their acceptance just so I can feel that I was worthy — that I was enough.
And doing that was exhausting — emotionally and mentally draining.
It took so much toll on me that I finally fell apart. It broke me.
Clinging on to that negative experience, that negative past was mental torture.
Funny thing was, I didn’t even realize how much emotional and mental damage that caused me because I just became too good at hiding the pain and just compounding them until it finally hit me, all at once.
Most of us will always have a bad habit of clinging on to a negative feeling, a negative thought.
We are all guilty of trapping ourselves in the pain of the past and allowing all the negativity to cause us pain over and over again.
So, if you too, are causing yourself so much pain by clinging on to all that negativity, here are 4 small steps to help you let go of negativity…
These steps helped me to finally let go of all the negative feelings and steer my life in a happier direction — I’m hoping it will do the same for you!
Decide to Let Go of the Past…
How many times have you allowed a mistake, a past experience, a past pain continue to take over your life?
I know exactly how this feels. It’s just too easy to allow ourselves to fall in this trap.
Growing up, I took all the pain of the past with me. I let it consume me. I gave it the power to rule my present thoughts and emotions.
I gave it the power to control me.
Yes, that past experience was painful, it was heart-wrenching but I realized that it’s even more painful to allow myself to stay stuck in my past.
It’s even more painful to allow that past experience to continue hurting me over and over again.
If you too are feeling this way, please remember, that you are not your mistakes. You are not your past.
Remind yourself that by clinging on to the mistakes and pains of the past, you are only blocking yourself from all the amazing things that are happening now and the blessings to come.
Allow yourself to be here in the present moment. Keep reminding yourself that you’re past doesn’t have to rule your present thoughts.
When you find yourself stuck in a negative situation, change your perspective and try to find the good in the bad...
When we are faced with negativity, stuck in a difficult season, it’s so easy to allow ourselves to wallow in the negativity and let all those negative thoughts consume us.
When I hit rock bottom, I let all those negative thoughts get the best of me. I let them paralyze me and keep me from actually doing something to better my life.
I found that the best way to fight this is to change my perspective and try to find the good and the helpful in everything.
Yes, I know, Easier said than done right?
I know exactly how that feels. Last year, I was faced with so many heartaches, losses, and painful struggles and they all came at once.
I know it’s so difficult to look past that pain, the mistakes, and all our negative thoughts but with a little practice, it is possible.
So, when you find yourself struggling and all the negativity starts to cloud your thoughts, ask yourself these questions:
What’s one good thing about your life?
What is this situation trying to teach you?
What’s one good thing about this situation?
What are you grateful for today?
Trust me — doing this makes all the difference!
Let it out
Compounding all our negative thoughts and keeping them to ourselves will not do us any good.
This will only consume you and destroy you from the inside.
This was my mistake. I kept all my negative thoughts bottled up until it broke me.
So, let it out. Talk it over with someone, write it down — whatever helps you vent out.
Sometimes, acknowledging those negative thoughts by talking about it helps us see the situation from a new perspective.
Growing up, I felt so bad about myself, I was so bitter and I never felt that I was enough, and this was because I continued to hold on to my negative feeling towards the people that caused me pain.
I never learned to forgive them and I never learned to forgive myself either for making mistakes.
The more I held on to those negative feelings the worst I felt.
So, we have to remind ourselves that forgiveness doesn’t mean that we are minimizing the pain that they caused us, it just means that we are no longer giving it the power to continue to hurt us.
Set yourself free from all the negativity the past is causing you and forgive.
Forgive yourself for your failures, your mistakes.
Yes, it’s not easy and you may have to do this over and over again until your finally ready to let go and forgive but it is worth it.
It sets us free!
Life will always have bad days, we may experience difficult and painful seasons that can turn our whole world upside down but we have to keep reminding ourselves that regardless of how defeated and low we feel, we always have the choice and the power to not let negativity rule our lives.
We always have the choice to let go of the stressors and the negativity. You got this!
I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional to get the help you deserve.